Coffee@Dawn: Confidence Begins With Loving Our Bodies

“Clear communication helps us ask for what we want, inside and outside of the bedroom. It has the potential to make us more confident and capable in all areas of our lives!”

Hello, ladies. Come on in; have a seat. Let’s talk about sexuality and desire. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Kick off your shoes, and I’ll pour you a cup of coffee, exactly as you like it. If tea is your preference, I’ve got that, too. Make yourself comfortable. You are all welcome here in this safe space — each and every one of you.

I invite all women to join in on our conversation. Talking and sharing, educating, and supporting one another. All different shapes and sizes are welcome, different personalities and strengths, young women and older women, too.

Some of you will plop your bodies down, starved for this conversation where no subject is taboo. Others will sit tentatively perched on the chair, eyeing the rest of us with caution, ready to run away at the first blush of embarrassment. Whether you talk freely and easily about the multiple topics of women’s sexuality, or you don’t know where to start, welcome, welcome! Have a seat; I’ll pour you a cup.

You might be a person familiar and comfortable with your body. Perhaps you use accurate and precise terms to identify all the parts. Maybe you are certain of what you like and how you want it. It is easy for you to buy new toys for yourself and your partner(s) to spice up your sex life. You know that radical self care is a necessary component of our busy lives. You are invited to coffee at my table.

Or you might be less certain. You could be new to this whole experience. It’s possible you have never talked about your body in this way. You may feel shy or frightened — foolish, embarrassed, or ashamed. What are these desires that women have anyway? If you are insecure or nervous about being here, you are invited to coffee at my table.

The media tells us we are flawed and defective. Our families and people we love might perpetuate those messages. We even tell ourselves we are too much or not enough, depending on the situation or circumstances. We internalize these messages, often unconsciously. Any combination of these negative ideas is enough to diminish our sex drive or even squash it altogether.

As a Confidence Coach, I talk to my clients about various areas of self-doubt. Inevitably, how they feel about their bodies is part of the discussion. As women, we are bombarded with conflicting messages about how we should or should not be sexual beings. Some of us have experienced varying degrees of trauma; our sexuality may be informed or restricted by repressive cultural norms; we did not get comprehensive sex education at any point in our lives; it was something we just don’t talk about! I encourage self-love, negotiation, and ongoing, enthusiastic consent. Clear communication helps us ask for what we want, inside and outside of the bedroom. It has the potential to make us more confident and capable in all areas of our lives!

What are some of the topics we will explore? The possibilities are endless! BDSM as an expression of women’s empowerment, why masturbation is important, body confidence and expression for women ashamed of their bodies, queer culture, women in porn, the best sex toys, how to talk dirty, etc.

Post your questions in the comments or contact me directly: Dawn Davis. Let me know what you would like to talk about. Be prepared to dive in with the juicy details when you come join me next time for Coffee@Dawn.